Nadia

I was just looking through some pictures and realized I was 158 in January.  Ugh, I am 162 now.  I knew my habits and things were messing with me, but I guess I had forgotten I had been lower and under that 160 mark.  I am going to push and get this done.  I have to write it here, because it really helps me feel accountable and stick to it.  I guess we will see.

I hate that tomorrow is Monday.  I worked today so it seems unfair that the work week is “starting” tomorrow.   It is sure to be a long week.

Last week at work, I overcame an incredible amount of obstacles.  The thing is, if I had not, everyone would have known.  Because I handled them all, no one will ever know.  That is kind of disappointing because I handled them well and want to show off and want everyone to say, “Oh my goodness that happened and yet you made it seem seamless?!  Wow!”  But, alas, no one needs to know and I will not tell anyone.  *sigh*

I feel really alone in my job right now and feel like I am being set up for failure.   There were (quite a few) people who did not think I should get to where I am and now that I am there, they are not working with me like they would anyone else.  They have put me in a position where it is like my hair could be on fire and no one would mention it to me. . .I would start to smell the smoke and ask if anyone smelled that and they would say no. . .then I would look in the mirror and notice the flames and ask is my hair on fire? they would say yeah and I would ask why no one had told me. . .they would say they figured I would find out in time.  I then would ask for a fire extinguisher and they would all act like they could not hear me and walk away.  And then I would burn to death.  :/