Nadia

Yesterday, something kind of amazing happened.  My boss came up to tell me something and looked at me and was talking about work and then interrupted herself and said something like, “Are you losing weight or something crazy like that?”  She threw me so much that I just blinked and stared and then asked her about the first thing she had said.  I guess it was the way she asked, and the fact that my whole class was right there behind me.  It just was not the time or place to get into it.  Anyway, someone noticed!  Woohoo.  And it only took 42 pounds.  Eesh. 

One of my exes used to get on me all of the time about not being able to accept a compliment.  I realized last night why that is.  When my mother says I look nice, I cringe and say thank you.  You see, all of my life my mother has been complimenting us kids.  “You did really great!”  “You look so pretty!” et cetera.  Now, do not get me wrong, I do not think it is bad to do that for your kids but she was so over-complimentary especially in times which it was not true.  There are times when I may feel pretty or may feel ugly, but there are some things that are just obvious.  “My hair looks so stringy and gross” “Your hair looks beautiful!” “I do not fit into large anymore” “You are so skiiny, you just have broad shoulders” et cetera. 
Anyway, without getting into it too much more, I basically learned that when someone gave you a compliment it was a way to try to make you not see the obvious.  It is kind of like crying wolf.  She did it so much when it was not true, that when it is/was true, it had no impact or believability. 

I have a feeling I am never really going to be able to get past that and take a compliment as a compliment.

I start a new class next week and it is 6 weeks long.  I am very excited to use this time as a mini-goal and see what I can accomplish in 6 weeks.  I should be about 156 when the class starts, so I should be able to hit 150 without too much problem, but I will shoot for 144.  That would be really cool!  I am getting closer to goal, so it might take longer, but I will give it a shot.