Since when is good posture a crime?
I am a shy person. I have always been. I had a sheltered, abusive childhood, and have a lot of self-esteem issues. I do not think it would take a psychologist to figure out that I would not grow up to be the most outgoing person around. Lately, with my temporary change of job at work, I have had to spend a lot of time with managers and such. The people I usually report to. This is pretty intimidating to me, but I deal. Anyway, they mostly are all very professional in the office, but when it comes to just-managers time for meetings and the like, they are very relaxed people. Which is fine, do not get me wrong. The problem is, since I am still in an awkward position (above the people who report to them, but still below them), I prefer to maintain professional during the meetings. Actually, to be quite honest, I would prefer that regardless of level. Sure, if there is a company softball game or something, relax all you want, but work is work to me. Anyway, there is one friendly manager who is always joking around trying to get me to loosen up a bit. No biggie. Yesterday, though, we are all sitting in this room for way to long waiting for the meeting host, and said manager points out my posture. I acknowledged him, but basically just gave a half smile and moved on. Then, as more people came in, he loudly pointed it out to a few of them. Then later, he said, “Nadia, look at Gabby. See how she is sitting?” I looked at Gabby and she was sitting like a slob. I mean, seriously, why should I model myself off of that?? Since when is good posture a bad thing? Like I really do not have enough to be self-conscious of! The stupid thing is, by his attempts of trying to get me to relax, it made me feel much much more scrutinized and uneasy. The whole meeting, I was so aware of my posture and just wanted to cry and get out of there. Once or twice is one thing, but come on. Again, what is so wrong with sitting up straight??
The day got worse. This new class I am teaching just does not like me. It is a change from my last class, by far. My last class was very unruly and misbehaved a lot, but by the end of our time together, I would say at least twelve of the fourteen grew to like me and see me as a source of knowledge and a friend. I talk to almost all of them on a regular basic, even a month later. This class just sits there and makes fun of me, thinking I can not hear them or something. I did not really care that much. I figured if they are learning, it really does not matter what their opinion of me is, and if they band together to hate me, at least they are banding together. It has been effecting me, though. I stumble on words and stutter and things which is just more fuel for them. I feel like a novice with this class. Last night, one of the guys made fun of me right to me. I did not hear what he had said, so I said, “Hmm?” and he repeated it back mocking my voice. I guess it was because of the posture thing earlier in the day, but I just took it very personally. Like, fine, make fun of me behind my back, but to my face? I am so glad it is the weekend. I want to get past this class and still have my job.
It is nights like yesterday when I get really lonely. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is okay. But alas. . .
Awww I am so sorry that you are having a rough time. I would kill to have good posture and unfortunately in America it is seen as strange when someone is sitting up straight because most Americans are slobs! Just try to look at it as these managers and these rotten students in your class do not matter. The only people that matter are the people close to you that you care about and that you know care about you. One day when someone says something to you, you will have had it to the point that you put them in their place. Hopefully, getting healthy and losing weight will increase your self esteem and confidence along the way.
I wish I had the body confidence you have, I have noticed myself in pics and when I am around my family, which most are shorter than me,that I have poor posture making me look 2 in. shorter. and I am only 5′5″. It feels easier to hide or blend in, when I am schlumped over. when I do stand or sit tall I feel too self conscious. what if someone is staring at this or that? why should I care anyway?
It is rude of that manager to point out your body to other people that way. Next time be ready with either a kill ‘em with kindness response or something that will shut them up. I am a smart alleck so would probably say something at their expense.
As to dealing with the students, don’t back down, stand a strong front and treat them the way you would want to be treated. It might take time, but the ones who are truly “teachable” will be reached if they know you mean business. If it’s kids, they need discipline even if they don’t think they do. I’ve never been a teacher so my response could be way off base, don’t know.
been a coach a couple times, that’s about it.
do not sacrifice your good posture! they should be working their asses off to sit properly! slouching has been so commmon in our lazy/overworked society that when someone sits or stands straight, it gets noticed. i’ve been weigth training to improve my posture for the past year, and its finally getting there. when people point it out, or be like “why are you sitting so straight?” i take pride in that. you should to! our bodies are meant to be straight, so good for you for having a good posture! don’t let them get to you!!!
The reason the guy is point it out is because you make him uncomfortable with your demeanor. When a business meeting starts and most everyone is relaxed, it creates that type of atmosphere. This guy sees you and is thinking “god why cant she relax, shes ruining my buzz”. This isnt to say you should change, but people have rough stressful days and if this is a chance to “let it hang out” they tend to.
Id say its not you, its them. But you could be helpful in reducing their axiety or stress by relaxing a bit or explaining to them “Im relaxed but Im professional relaxed” or something along those lines.
You know what–I’m am one of those people that have lousy posture. Its a long haul to change that. I dont know what that guys problem was.
However, just write him off as a jerk and no worries ok. I’m like the others–be proud of that posture!
As for the class–i’m hoping a little time will ease the situation there.
Hang in there girl!