Nadia

This week started pretty rough, after a hard weekend.  I thought I was okay for work, but when I went in on Monday, I found that was not so.  My commute is rarely a good thing because it gives me an hour to be alone with my thoughts.  I usually turn the radio on loud so I can not hear them.  Monday, though, I was playing sad songs and when I got to work and went to check my cell phone, there was a wallpaper with my kitty on it.  I kind of forgot because it has been on there for so long, but of course I really noticed it.  Anyway, it was enough to trigger me and I left after a short meeting.  My one boss asked if I was sick because my voice was strained and my eyes red and watered.  I said no.  Then she asked if I was okay and I said no.  That was about it there.  Anyway, I took the rest of the day off and yesterday, too.  I went shopping, which I could not afford at all, got my hair cut, and saw a movie.  It was okay.  Better than work, even if I spent a paycheck.  Living at home, I often feel trapped and feel my weekends off are not necessarily very relaxing, so a day of hookey does me good sometimes.  Work is getting pretty stressful right now because I am doing a few different job functions and have a lot of people with animosity against me, because they applied for the position I have and do not feel I deserve it.  It definitely adds to the pressure. 

My mother decided to get a Wii.  She is getting huge and since her idea of proper diet and exercise is getting off the couch to eat a “low-fat” popsicle, it has always been hard.  I do not want to be preachy to her because I have a ways to go, but at the same time she always complains about how fat she is while eating and snacking and so on.  Anyway, long story short, we are getting a Wii and Wii Active.  I am very excited about it.  I like doing exercise DVDs, but this should be even better because it is more than just aerobic.  It is also something that is not hidden.  Everything I do is hidden, it seems.  I hide myself under my clothes.  I hide my thoughts deep inside.  I hide my finances.  I hide my job title.  I hide my relationships.  Et cetera.  Anyway, no one in my family knows I am actively trying to lose weight, but this I will not have to hide.  Yay.

P.S. When my sister came up for the 4th, she asked how much weight I lost and said she could really tell.  This was a huge thing because sometimes I wonder where the 40+ pounds went and if no one will ever tell.  Oddly, the last time I saw her I weighed almost the same as now, but I was feeling very sick and got incredibly bloated.  Strangely, I have only felt like that twice in recent years (the so bloated that my belt will only go to the nearest hole when normally it goes comfortably to the last with room to spare feeling), and the other time was when she was visiting, too!  Weird.  I wonder if there is a correlation.

The Wii Active has a 30 day challenge, so I will hopefully post about it.